fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
