your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
