What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
