we have pet lesbian snakes
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
