it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I can't put those talents on a resume
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
