i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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