Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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