it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
