So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
