We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
