Screwed.edu
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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