He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
