Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
we should paint friendship bongs
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
