Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
