marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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