Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We're too hungover to prance.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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