are you still at the devil's house?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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