She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
