I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
