Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
