Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
