Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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