Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
