Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
