Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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