did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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