i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
