Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
