I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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