Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
