I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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