BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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