Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
