if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
