party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
