I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
