every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
