How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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