I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
