Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
