I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
