I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
