I wanna bring you to show and tell
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Congratulations! We have a period
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