Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
