got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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