i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
