if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
