Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
