trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
