Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
