Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
