I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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