Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
